A brief compilation of comments collected from guests of Holland America, shared by Corey the Cruise Director and an onboard chef:

• Complaint from a passenger while still at the port in Civitavecchia, outside Rome: “I am really upset!! I paid for a room with a sea view and all I can see is this dock!!”
• Question from spa patron: “How small does my face have to be to qualify for the mini facial?”
• Complaint from a dining room patron: “My lobster tail is too small. Can’t you make the lobsters bigger?”
• Heard at least once every cruise: “Where do I catch the bus for the walking tour?” Answer: It’s a walking tour…